Monday, August 21, 2006
trapped in a capsule for travel
"Sitting on a beach of grey stones, grey sea, grey sky. The rain's indecision is torturing. Dry or downpour...is that too much to ask? The drips hit the paper so...intermittently...&yet manage to interrupt. Close book. I sat and let the sky spit on me."
"So i've actually been excited lately. i convinced my mom to sell her place & buy a house in my 'hood. i even found the house. i daydream about it, i talk & talk & talk about it. i have such a crush on that place."
but the grotto, as we called it, never came to pass......but the house mom did buy, in another neighbourhood, has been a dream.... it's hard to believe i was thinking about this before my life was temporarily halted.......before the book was closed......it's amazing how one can be derailed and somehow find their way back to the tracks......the life i was dreaming of for myself and my mom will soon be a reality.....some minor details in different form but the plot is the same.........waiting's the hard part...........
(pssst.....hey......are you there graduation?...someone said you were right around the corner......)
How relationships start & end
....well, i found this entry....i wonder if it was about you or someone else or noone in particular........it went something like this:
"Fri.Sept 10, 2004 ...
How relationships start & end
I thought of you on your birthday...contemplated sending a note...fantasized your reaction...feared your words.
I thought of you on your birthday...knowing you'd not thought of me."
Sunday, August 20, 2006
zombies in vancouver
hexes and curses
next year zombiewalk!.....mark my words.......NEXT YEAR
(post script. a definition for the undead)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
my first time
i warmed her up and got her ready....i found the spot and went for it......it was a little messy but i got it in on my first try........MY FIRST I.V. start....complete with hook-up.......so exciting....so nerve-wracking....so something i will soon take for granted that i can do......so a moment i want to keep, to remember........
hooray! hooray! for small successes........
Sunday, June 04, 2006
aged (2 syllables)
and yet, it almost wasn't......that's right faithful readers.......i was almost kept from surprise planned excitement due to my excelled advancement in years.....the show only allows those 17 to 28 to participate.......and i will be less than a month from 29 at the time of taping.........unbelievable, i know.......i almost needed to get me some fake ID.............
Sunday, May 28, 2006
confirmation of original thought
so this morning, on my way to church, i was pondering my "quality of friends" issue.....this is something that has plagued me for the last while whilst i have been dealing with my own little hell of death and disappointment.....but this morning i had an epiphany:
maybe people just don't know how to be friends to each other.....maybe they're afraid....maybe this world of psychotherapists has made ordinary people feel inadequate to support their peers in times of need.....maybe this is why people are afraid of anything that is unsuperficial and potentially negative and emotional....perhaps that is why people must pay people to lend an ear....
now, don't get me wrong....i think there is a very valid place in our social context for counselling.....but on the other hand, one should be able to vent their frustrations and find support in their so-called friends........i've been starting to fear that the ties i cut years ago "in my best interests" in fact cut me from the last few people who knew how to stand by me in thick and thin........it was hard to realize that, although i thought myself in a much better place socially than ever before, that this was a falsehood disguised by a few years of relative good times........
well, this was passing through my head on my morning's half hour drive and i was thinking of blogging it here......then the sermon happened......rod wilson spoke and started by describing this very phenomenon......it was bizarre to have my thoughts (that i had not yet shared with anyone) regurgitated to me from the pulpit........people are afraid to be friends........
well, suck it up people! sometimes all someone needs is to be heard, to vent, to emote and get perspective.......on their terms................
go on.......be a friend
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
my dog ate my homework
"ZOE!!!"
she looked up and her beard betrayed her....it was full of torn scraps of paper.....
i can never stay mad at her for long......she's way too ridiculous (but don't ever tell her i said so)
my biggest regret is that i did not have a camera ready....i tried to go get one.... but by the time i returned, she had shaken the evidence from her fur-lined face.....(she's so sneaky)
all in all....it's good to have little moments to enjoy and giggle over......there have been far too many tears shed in the last month........and my eyes don't squeeze 'em out easy.......what would i do without my little rascals?
Monday, April 10, 2006
when will it end?
i was just sitting here....writing another paper....emersed in more inconsequential BS.... another hoop i have to jump to get that piece of paper that will let me practice my chosen profession........ i was just sitting here..... in front of this terminal........ minding my own business.....and BAM......the news:
another one bites the dust.....another piece of my tapestry of people frayed away to nothing but a memory.......
tears and tears and tears and tears.......
actually, i am surprised at my reaction.... i think this is the first time i have spontaneously cried......in this type of situation, that is.......maybe i'm getting better at it......i guess i've had enough practice........
maybe this is healthy.....but definitely not productive........
admittedly, this is BAD timing....better than if it had happened last week.... but still bad......and my brain is locked.....and my stomach is sick...... and i feel guilty
goodnight mary
may you rejoice in health and dance your way into heaven
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
spanked!
there is an actual definition regarding allowable spanking (for children, people) and whatever crosses the line MUST be reported by any citizen promptly or they face a $10, 000 fine and up to 6 months in jail..... (which is more than Lisa "Left-eye" Lopez got for burning down her ex-boyfriend's mansion).......
according to the ministry of children and families, spanking can occur through clothing for the purpose of education......any other purposes are disallowed....... did you know about this?....admittedly, i didn't realize ANY spanking of children was allowable but i also didn't realize my legal obligation as a citizen to report........thankfully i haven't witnessed any child spanking since the 1980's (when such behaviour was perfectly acceptable).....or i may have been blogging from the clink.........
Monday, April 03, 2006
stick talk
How did they rectify this pressing issue? The radio personality phoned city hall in eleveth.....a representative agreed to discuss this politically charged issue LIVE!
Let's look at the facts:
Exhibit A:
"The Cowichan Community Centre, in Duncan on Vancouver I
sland in British Columbia, boasts the largest hockey stick and puck in the world. Built in 1985, the 205-foot hockey stick is built from Douglas Fir wooden beams reinforced with steel, and weighs in at a staggering 61,000 pounds (28,118 kgs). The World's Largest Hockey Stick & Puck was originally commissioned by the Government of Canada as part of the Expo '86 World's Fair Exposition in Vancouver."Exhibit B:
"World's Largest Hockey StickMeasuring 107 feet and weighing over three tons, this Christian Brothers hockey stick is complete with a giant rubber puck. Located in downtown Eveleth on Main Street - Grant Avenue... The stick was renovated and was completed in the summer of 2002."The representative from eleveth city hall, in response to the falseness of their claim of having the world's largest hockey stick stated "we believe we have the world's largest hockey stick in america"......the world's largest hockey stick in america? then the radio personality asked the simple question: which is larger, 205 or 107? the city hall rep would not respond....finally she said tentatively: "1.....0......7........." to which the radio gal stated "is the smaller....yes......107 is smaller than 205"..........
this all seems so ridiculous to me......who cares? if you want to have a weird tourist-attracting monument.....then make it bigger than the others that already exist (it was finished in 2002 versus the duncan one that was built in 1985) or name it correctly (like "america's largest hockey stick").......wouldn't that be a lot easier than trying to explain how 107 is bigger than 205.......
Saturday, April 01, 2006
en francais.....
well, i would like to start a movement.....who agrees to only refer to shelley in french? (and Xeres was born)
you're "it"!
QUATRE EMPLOIS j'ont EU
1. dungeon master (aka underage file clerk)
2. the mountain
3. mental health worker
4. emergency undergrad nurse
QUATRE FILMS/EXPOSITIONS j'ont ÉTÉ ADONNÉS :
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2. Party of Five
3. Lost
4. Dead Like Me
QUATRE PLACES j'ont VÉCU (if I keep it Canadian are):
1. Burnaby
2. Montreal
3. Charlevoix
4. Kitsilano
QUATRE PAYS QUE JE VOUDRAIS VISITER (où je n'ai pas été) :
1. Turkey
2. Greece
3. Brazil
4. Japan
(and pretty much everywhere else as well......)
QUATRE SUPPOSITIONS FAUSSES POPULAIRES DE MOI :
1. I'm all fun and games
2. My hair is naturally black and blonde
3. I have no siblings
4. I'm a party person
QUATRE PERSONNES JE RESSEMBLENT (selon quelques personnes) :
1. Bjork (one of the best compliments of all time.....although so full of shit)
2. Grandma Christie
3. Flower (from Bambi)
4. my friend's hairdresser Zoe, although I have never met her to corroborate
QUATRE CHOSES (J'ESPÈRE) FAIRE AVANT QUE JE NE MEURE :
1. Graduate from nursing school
2. work in underprivileged communities setting up sustainable health care
3. fulfill my purpose
4. witness Jo's rise to stardom
LES GENS I ÉTIQUETTE ENSUITE :
1. Chris D.
2. Rachael
3. Leigh
4. YOU
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
luck of the irish
towards the end of the evening, we met one of the boys at a pub in kits.....it went something like this:
we sat and drank and mocked in good measure......
and as we conversed.....suddenly.......and oh so abruptly.....i jumped out of my seat.......i sprang up with a start....like a leprechaun, i flew 2 feet in the air........what prompted such a feat?.......well, it was something like this:
a full and frothy pint of beer went cascading down my back....from the nape of my neck to the badunc-a-dunc-dunc of my posterior........i had a beer bath ....
although not as picturesque (or as green) as this bath with beer.......
it was remotely less disturbing.........
......perhaps the dude thought i wanted to try a more affordable version of one of these products:
thoughtful?
he did go to the bar to get me a towel...... and on his return....he extended the towel towards my rear end, as if he were going to clear up the damage that way .......no way, jose (or whatever your name is).......he had done quite enough and i was able to pat my own behind to relatively less-wetness.....
at least he wasn't like this guy...... http://www.nearlygood.com/video/beerclean.html ......that could have gotten QUITE interesting.....
perhaps he just needed a little prior practice here:
http://www.digyourowngrave.com/beer-balancing-game/ ......
Friday, March 17, 2006
just my luck
i picked up the tab for the first tank of gas and (as per my own roadtripping tradition) picked us up a couple of lotto tix for the fun.......couldn't afford many so i went for one bingo and one crossword.....both popular favourites........much to my surprise, pixie announced that she had never relished the drawn out and often unvictorious enjoyment of this type of gambling.........
well, it took us a while to get around to the tix......it might have even been the second day....... when we sat down......at the table....very serious for some serious stakes .......i with the crossword, she with the bingo...the tension mounted...our pennies at the ready....and SCRATCH!
long before i had finishedmy concentrated endeavour, she announced that she had won.....what? thought i......and it wasn't even a dollar or two.....in fact, it was MORE..... great! now i was never going to that "A" that i needed to win 2000$ (for that A would have finished a cornucopia of words putting me into the holy-crap-winner-circle)....alas i was right......no A was in the cards for me.......but i had not lost hope...there was still the BONUS......as i scratched i had already anticipated defeat.....it's pretty much unheard of to win more than a free card on these things and definitely not to have 100% of your ticket purchases turn a profit.......i raised the penny to the flaky silver film that concealed my destiny.......one stroke, two strokes, three.....five seconds later it was revealed..........

that's right folks...between the two of us we made a pretty profit......not enough for retirement before graduation but enough to cover some of the weekend's entertainment....not bad, not bad at all........
in fact, on the way home i was still realing with the fact that we had indeed BOTH won on scratch-and-wins.......as i contemplated, it suddenly came to me.......do you think God had gotten confused when i prayed to get lucky?
Monday, March 13, 2006
i need a digital camera....NOW!
i am faced with the fact that shelley has once again out-blogged me....mostly because i wait (and wait and wait) before i can post photos from momentous occassions..... and then, after such wonderfulness as this: http://getouttabed.blogspot.com/2006/03/its-all-about-chicken.html ....i end up not adding my bit.....for it seems too little too late.......oh woe is me, i know.....either way, check hers out.......for now
Thursday, March 09, 2006
holy carp!
yesterday was my first in my community practicum....therefore, i had to drive all over burnaby...... and wouldn't you know, it started to snow....and guess what, it hasn't stopped......there is snow (glorious snow!) EVERYWHERE......just in time for me to have spring break! woohoo!..... hopefully it will continue while i run off to kelowna this weekend........and i will return to a fluffy white wonderland of fun......
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
acting?
and tomorrow the community practicum begins........da da da dummm!
and the oscar went to.........
http://getouttabed.blogspot.com/2006/03/and-oscar-goes-to.html
but stand by.....as my photos include oscar style scandal.........(if only i could share them somehow......if only......)
Monday, March 06, 2006
work made me cry
“we have a shift blah blah blah……do you want to take it?”
“sure…..is it on transition?” (the place I normally work for this facility)
“nope, it’s on pedes” (aka pediatrics…which is bizarre because I am completely unqualified to work on pedes)
“what will I be doing?”
“meal planning with anorexic kids”……..to which I think what anorexic kid is going to listen to a fat girl about what they should eat……
Well, it turned out to be a pretty sweet deal really…..hanging out …..chatting …..eating ……ensuring others eat ……ratting on them when they don’t eat……..
And then the tear jerker….
i was helping the unit clerk with some paperwork and this family walks up to the desk……..i asked if they were there to see someone and alas no…..the little one was brushed to the forefront where he attempted to make his announcement…..he verbally stumbled 3 or 4 times before the parental figure took over….he had been on the ward a few times and had brought some videos for the other sick kids…….i looked down at his face and he nodded and tears started to well in his eyes……then I got tongue-tied……..
I couldn’t believe this little guy’s heart-felt generosity
Kudos….to him…..and to his mom for supporting him in gratitude……
The other kids will enjoy those videos immensely……
*sigh*
Thursday, February 16, 2006
find pixie
who would have known that she would have come upon a river pixie!.....and this river pixie had quite the story to tell.......check it out at
http://getouttabed.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_getouttabed_archive.html
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
the norris
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead punched his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong, my friend.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living **** out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris carries a man bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.
God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
christian conversation and controversial cowboys
i know
how 'bout this! :

(go on.......you can figure out what it is....any guesses?.....)
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
thanks mom
So we drop off the car……trudge through the rain……get to ONE store, where we proceed to spend over an hour……AND a ridiculous amount of money…..no really…..it gets stupid…..and she encourages me to buy things such as these

based on the fact that they are sooooo funny…….(yes, I purchased boots based solely on their comedic potential)………thanks mom…..
……then I came home and had to figure out how to share this hilarity with others…..so now it is late….and I have a busy evening ahead of me……and no homework has been accomplished today……..doh!.......thanks mom
.......but at least i have some kickin' boots......jessica, eat your heart out!
Things that might explain a little about how and why I am the way I am c/o a day with mom
a) My mom had a dream last night that she was skiing the downhill at 8 ½ months pregnant.
b) At spying a caravan of school busses pass our stop light she exclaims “oh look! Halloween busses!”
c) She encourages me to buy things that I, not only, don’t need but that are only good to laugh at.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
star gazing
….last weekend began with a most entertaining night on the town and proceeded into a weekend away……to kelowna…..a short 5 hour drive from home……to my friend’s cabin (a.k.a. big freakin’ house on a big freakin’ lake)…….a weekend complete with late nights, moments lost, snowboarding, communal eating and beach fires…….oh, and did I mention good friends….yeah, there were some of those too……
….anyways, it was basically a recipe for bad: mix a cup of fun with a bowl of relax, blend until smooth and get kirstin on antibiotics……or thusly the goods have been baked for the last few months…..woohoo!
…so…..all this to say that today i spent an unusual amount of time on the couch where i managed to catch the first star…..jake gylenhaal….in all his glory….doing interviews on tv……later came an evening out…a second-run theatre (therefore old-school and cheap and the best movie-going experience) playing ‘walking the line’……two more of my favourite stars joaquin phoenix and johnny cash…….
all i could do was soak in their beauty………
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
x2
1) BCIT has been given permission to grant degrees other than BTechs .....so I will graduate with a BScN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing).....although this is exactly the same thing as the BTech of Nursing i was going to get.....it is more likely to be well recognized internationally.....YEAH!
2)i have been invited to go to japan on a business trip with my friend owen.......and it happens to be on the veek that i have spring break.......consequently, i may actually be able to go.....DOUBLE YEAH!
3)i got very fun mail from england today.....a real letter....the best kind.....complete with pins inside for me........YEAH YEAH YEAH!
........and now to bed
Monday, January 09, 2006
clear my throat
i think the true offense is the "interrupt and redirect"........in conversation, in activity, in relationship, in life......this is something worth getting one's knickers in a twist over
soundtrack: bobby dylan and johnny cash (together, oh yes, together)
qvote BC
Ladies and gentlemen......the wisdom of Mr. Bill Cosby
definition
Pronunciation: 'vOt
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English (Sc), from Latin votum vow, wish
1 : a usually formal expression of opinion or will in response to a proposed decision; especially : one given as an indication of approval or disapproval of a proposal, motion, or candidate for office
2 : the collective opinion or verdict of a body of persons expressed by voting
3 : the right to cast a vote; specifically : the right of suffrage
4 a : the act or process of voting
5 : a formal expression of a wish, will, or choice voted by a meeting
........we live in a country in which we have a special right: the right to vote for our governing officials.....and yet, less than half the registered population excercise this right......
admittedly, people voice that they are disillusioned with the choices available........well.......
think about it.......what percentage of the population (P) register in the first place? ..........I don't know, but it is definitely not all that are eligible......for argument sake, let's say 80%........then only half of them actually take the trouble to put the little piece of paper in the box...........so:
.........what if we were able to get all those people who didn't think their vote makes a difference to cast it anyway?......what if we got more information to all those people who don't know who to vote for?........
Monday, January 02, 2006
boggle my mind
what seemed impossible has been accomplished.......what was unreachable has been grasped........may my new year continue with the attaining of such goals.......
what happened?
i beat anita........i know, you don't believe......but she will bear witness....it happened this once.....this day.......in a round of boggle
p.s. define "vower"
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Ode to Justin
i found some gold........no really, actual treasure.........


two gems.........circa 1996...........check out his more recent work at cardoons.blogspot.com
redemption song
anita came home at 11:57........we sprung to our noicemakers........we ran upstairs and awoke the old folks with noise and cheer......we swooped to the deck and caught fireworks from the park across the water........we hoooted....we hollered.....and scared the crap out of the dogs..........
verdict = redemption
kiss kiss










