history in the making

after a quiet but full day of being a tourist in tallinn, i was walking home from the far end of the city......suddenly, a rumble was heard from the sky.......everyone in teh streets started to look to the fading light of the heavens.......there was a helicopter....now, this wouldn't have worried me except that the people seemed confused byit...obviously, helicopters are not a regular occurrence here.......i continued on my way.....whatever was going on, hopefully it wouldn't affect me.....and it was about time i got back......
then, the sirens.......5 or 6 big bop bars went racing by........more confused faces.....cells popped out of pockets and conversation was everywhere (not that i could understand any of it)......i made my way throug old town and as i was geting near the castle, police seemed clustered.....my curiosity finally got me.....i asked what was going on......apparently the estonian government had decided to remove a monument to fallen russian soldiers and the russian minority was protesting......the stautue had been covered with a tarp today as a precursor to its removal........crowds were gathering.......crowd control was under way.......
as the girl who explained all this to me led me towar the site of the demonstration, we were redirected by walls of police.......i stopped for a while at an interesting vantage point.....watched cars and people back up behind cops in neon yellow......watched as they marched into position ...as they erected fences....listened to choppers and cheering and horns blasting in unison.....felt the tension and the unknown of what this could mean.....at the moment it was peaceful but felt like that could change quite quickly......when i moved on, the sun was almost set and a lone dove sat perched on the high cross of the church near the site........people were continuing to gather....most had their mobiles out, sharing the current event in action.......
check out these photos....they are from the news page so i don't know how long the photos will stay up.....

why i like estonia

1) an estonian gave me a ride from riga to tallinn....for free
2) an estonian gave me a place to sleep and super hospitality.....two days running......and asked for nothing in return
3) an estonian at the bus stop spontaneously gave me a bus ticket (and as coincidence had it, we got off at the same stop 15 mins later.....and she lived in the same building as i was going to)
4) an estonian let me use his phone for free (altho i had offered to give himcash) after no payphones could be found......then he gave my travelling partner a place to sleep.....free

4 different peoplein less than a few hours.......so nice.....such generosity

2 liner

(thursday april 26...on the couch....katrina's......tallinn, estonia.....1008pm)

something i like about a midieval town: if you happen to let one slip while walking the streets, noone will notice....many of the cobbled ways still smell like the good old days: pre-plague.

honourable mention

cheers to the 4 guys who made my best day in dubrovnik end on the right note....it was great hanging out with you at fresh.....i did want to meet up with you later but i got a bit chilled with my wet hair.....did you leave croatia with a bang?

satisfaction

(sat. april 21 1525......on my bed......oprah with subtitles to my left......majda's apartments....mostar, bosnia)

first: yesterday
after my mini-upset, i did some wading on the rcky adriatic shoresnear my place before gathering my things and heading over to the kayaking adventure.....i am SO glad that i stuck around....
i shared a kayak with the good-looking croatian guide and 2 american journalists were in the other kayak......we headed out around 330pm......it was sunny: light glinting off the sea.....and it wasn't too hot......you have no idea how glad i was to get out on the water....we chatted as we pddled for the next 3 hours......aroud lokrum island....into caves....a short swim break (complete with snorkel gear) from a cave beach -- altho the guide and i were the only ones that jumped in......he pointed out a "morina" (moray eel?) and killed a sea urchin so we could try its "gonads"....we got back to shore just as the sun was ready to set....such a great afternoon.....i walked away cold but satisfied......

guy magnet

(noon......still at cafe)

a really creepy old man is sitting down the path.....cigar in mouth.....watching me......
i saw him when i was walking here.....and as i passed, he said "oh yes".......i passed, walked on, found this coffee......and now he's parked himself on the bench a short distance away.....staring.
i wanted to go swimming after this......but not if i have an audience.......

getting perspective

(friday april 20....1145am.....overlooking the adriatic sea.....waiting for my capuccino....cafe......dubrovnik, croatia)

i changed all my plans to stay an extra day in order to go kayaking......i can't afford it but then again i can't afford this trip.......it means no Plitvice Lakes, no Sarajevo, and probably a short Zadar.....talking to some kids last night, i almost wish that i hadn't booked that flight and would have spent the rest of my trip in Bosnia and Serbia....but no.....

back to the point:kayaking.......so the day before yesterday i started inquiring and it was unavailable yesterday and when i went to the tourist office to ensure it was happening today, they told me again "maybe tomorrow" because "it was FULL for today".......what?!.....well, in typical me-of-late fashion, the emotion got the better of me....i was trying to stay composed and simply state that i had changed my plans for this and yada yada yada........but as teh words emerged they started to warble......and the dams went up and the tearssqueezed out through the cracks.....it wasn't a full-blown cry but it was an obvious-enough struggle to be embarrassing......especially when you consider what the people of dubrovnik have been through: attacked by air, land and sea.....less than 15 years ago.....and i'm crying because i can't go kayaking!...now i know that this isn't a normal reaction for me....i know taht there's more going on under the surface.....i know that i'm slowly dealing with some unresolved stuff.....but the woman standing before me does not know this.....she sees a foreigner brought to tears by the prospect of not kayaking.......again, embarassing......

what's it take to get a little help 'round here?

(thursday april 19 1140am.....on teh steps of the cathedral......bits of steps missing from being blown up.....dubrovnnik, croatia)

i just stepped out of the british consulate......there isn't a canadian one here but we're commonwealth, right?....i was pretty excted to be somewhere where i could finally find a proper massage therapist.....my back is pretty constant and i try my best not to let it stop me.....(altho it does slow me down quite a bit).....anyway.....besides making me feel like an idiot, i was told straightforwardly that they only carry lists of lawyers (implication :nothing so silly as massage therapists) and that they were only thre for emergencies (implication: of which back issues does not qualify).....and that if i truly did have a back problem that i should go to the hospital......
i work in a hospital.....there is NOTHING they are going to be able to do for me......give me more drugs? what a waste of resources......
.....and i can't believe that i'm still crying about it but it's just so damn frustrating......i can't carry on like this for another month......

UPDATE thrusday april 26......my experience at the canadian embassy in tallinn was the complete opposite.....the woman was surprised at my request but SO nice.....she looked the information up for me on the internet and then recommended a location and marked it on the map......she even wished me good health and that i would feel better so that i could enjoy estonia.....so nice not to make a person in pain feel like an idiot.....so the happy ending is that i got a massage today....yeah!.....and i'm achy now but that is normal post-massage-i-will-hopefully-not-be-getting-headaches-for-a-while achiness......woohoo!

sidenote

i have so much more to report.....and i will soon....i hope.......but my internet time is up for the moment.....
i am about to catch a bus out of bosnia......heading back to croatia to catch a plane to london......it,s cheaper for me to fly to london and then back to eastern europe than it is to travel by land......so crazy......in fact......my flight to london costs less (only 18$) than it would cost for me to get from the airoprt to london proper (about 17 pounds)........mental.......
later

final countdown - epic II

(wednesday april 18....sipping a DELICIOUS apple-banana-cherry-ginger smoothie off a side street in stari grad, dubrovnik, croatia)

yesterday was almost a write-off.......after a little walk, a headache started creeping up again......pills don,t work.......so after a 12-hour post-migraine sleep, i went down for an afternoon nap.....i thought my one day in korcula was soon to become a void....i managed to wake around 430pm and saw a bit of the island before the sunset.......phew!......it was stormy and gorgeous......and i got adopted as wind-playmate by a cute puppy.....so good!
earlier today i sat on the bus ....anesthetized.......i couldn,t move my limbs but i was conscious of what was going on around me......i had to will with might to make my eyes move......when have i EVER been this tired?
i ad woken up at 5am to pack and catch the bus to dubrovnik.....alll was in order.........i double checked that the essentials were in their designated places.......i locked the door and dropped the key in teh batheroom window (as instructed to do.....twice).....i hoisted up my small bag and made my merry way to the bus terminal with plenty of time to get myself there......i mean, this was the only departure time off the island today.......i didn,t want to take any chances.......
it was then that i noticed.....my eyes made contact wit the bars.....the closed bars......the locked gate.....at the bottom of the stairs......the gate for which i,d dropped the keys through the bathroom window....and i was walled in......the bus station mere metres away.......the sun was rising casting pastels in the sky and i didn,t care........it was early.....i didn,t care......i didn,t know which door belonged to my landlord....i didn,t care......i climbed back up the stairs.......and started knocking on the door i saw.......now, i had assumed that my landlord lived upstairs.......i,d never seen him enter nor leave....i,d never glimpsed him in the window.....but while i had been trying to sleep away the punding in my head the day before, all i could hear from upstairs was....over and over again......no joke......"the FINAL COUNTDOWN"............and to see this man, you would know that no other person on the island could possibly love this song as much as he........
so back to the knocking......within 7 minutes it had progressed to banging o the door......by 10 minutes, i was running out of time and contemplating having to camp in the courtyard until someone awoke....debating with myself whether it would be so bad.....but i didn,t give up.........i started knocking/tapping/noising any surface available......windows, doors, furniture, glass, metal, wood......it was surprisingly accoustically varied.......finally a face appeared in thewindow....a confused face......i never thought i,d be so happy to see this dude......and now 4 minutes until the bus leaves (it,s like that johnny cash song).......he freed me from my cage and i jogged the 3 blocks to the station.....
maybe the relaxation after the panic had led to the state of anesthesia.....whatever it was, i,m glad i made it to dubrovnik......this place deserves at least 2 days........

headaches

(monday, april 16....830pm......in bed.....my apartment.....korcula, croatia)

i almost had another migraine.....my eye went wonky.....first a flashy-tv-snow-like disturbance in my lower right field of vision and gaps in my vision (tried to read and entire words were missing)....my head wwas throbbing and pills didn,t help a bit....tears were coming to my eyes and i fought hem back.....were they pain? frustration? i don,t know........i was dizzy and off-balance.......then my right side--arm and hand-- went numb and the right side of my tongue too.....this worried me a bit......i clenched and opened my hand.....bit on my tongue.....no change.......i minimized stimulus as much as possible....sat in the middle of the ferry to minimize sun exposure.....essentially missed the entire boat ride....something i had been looking forward to........i slept the journey away in an attempt to cure the pain.....this head and back business is really pissing me off........
now i,m ok but i,m tucking in early to try to avoid further problems tomorrow.......this is a beautiful place....unlike anywhere i,ve been before........and the sunset was one of the best i,ve ever seen (of course my camera had run out of batteries)......the sky the reddest i,ve ever seen it (yeah! good weather tomorrow).....silhouetting the islands and a solo fisherman in the bay.....i wandered along the midieval streets on the short walk back to my abode....i look forward to exploring with tomrrow,s sunshine....i also look forward to getting in the water

the haps

(monday april 16.....noon......in the shade...in the park.....just outside the wall of the old city....split, croatia)

what did i do today?
split.
and now i,m ready to split from split.
it,s a bit of a quieter venice....minus canals......roman architecture, loads of tourists and cafes, little nonsensical pedestrian alleys to get lost in..........i,m glad i didn,t get a room here......i,m finding myself impatient to leave and do.......a little ironic since i,m headed to an island in the hopes of finding some serious lounging--yet environment does make a HUGE difference.......cars and bustle vs. calm and quiet? well, i,m gonna take this opportunity to practice my relaxation skill--so writing & reading & general relaxing.....here i come
what happened today?
well, yesterday my pants had an identity crisis and decided spontaneously to become shorts.....this on the day that i,d decided to go paragliding (reminiscent of skydiving much?) & on the one night/day that i had not brought my big pack.....therefore i had no change of clothes.....then to take a night train (nowhere to empty contents of pack to retrieve sole pair of replacement trousers)....consequently, i am wearing well ventilated pants....both pant-legs have dehisced about one hand length below my butt......could be worse......so, me thinks.....maybe i can use this time to find a NEW pair of trousers....no dice.....the biggest size i can find is 2 sies too small....then again i am in a touristy area full of high-priced stores aimed at teenagers.....needless to say, i gave up on that mission.....
another occurrence......i was walking along, eating my burek (tasty greasy cheap lunch) when i felt a tap on my shoulder......one woman tapped and pointed to another......the other jogged up to me waving cash....a scrunch of coloured paper......my scrunch of coloured paper.....90 kuna (about 20$) had fallen out of my pocket.....altho easily missed at home, this is the economic equivalent of about 20 lunches.....i said a heartfelt "hvala".......i would have had no idea the money was missing until much later.......what a wonderful woman....
and some sad news.......still no sailing for me.....apparently "it,s not the season"......yet the heat is sweltering, the sun is shining, the wind is blowing......how much more right can the season get? is it really necessary to hold to the confines of certain months?

serenade

(sunday, april 15.....lake bled, slovenia)

church bells in the background, i watch voyeuristically the flirtations of purple-headed mallard ducks.....it,s interesting......they splash each other tentatively with their beaks bobbing up and down on the surface of the lake......they shake their tail feathers at those who ose to interrupt.....and stare at each other submissively with nexks outstretched at lake level......we,ve got similar ducks at homebut i,ve never noticed such behaviour......maybe i just never took the time........

i was planning on hiking this morning but as i,d had a long sleep, i awoke in residual tiredness that won,t wane.....in that way that this sunday morning has been spiritual and meditative from this bench at the water,s edge......surrounded by the Julian Alps......

i,ve changed locations along lake bled....different bench, different view......and now an accordionist is playing "if you,re going to san francisco" behind me as swans float before me.......comedy.

education

(saturday april 14th 625pm......on a bench watching the sun make its descent over lake bohinj, slovenia)

what did i do today?
bled.
no really......i,m staying in a beautiful lake-side town : bled........i have had a beautiful day.....of walking, hiking, travelling and relaxing.....actually, that,s something i,m relearning: relaxation....proper no-worries time.......spent doing nothing in particular, usually in a beautiful place.....with no time constraints.....i really hope that i,m able to pratice this reclaimed skill once i,m home......let,s not think about that too much.....
.....actually, even after a few days between me and the spanish girls, i find that their presences were inspiring to me....i had been a bit off.......feeling a bit squelched......still searching for the elements of me i enjoyed but had misplaced over school (and everything else that happened over the last few years)......inspiring: truely the right word......i can practically feel "me" blooming......and i,m starting to reclaim interests and skills of old......fiesta en mi cabeza.......

going for gold

i admit that on this trip, from time to time, i have used less than honest means to save a few pennies....but i find it funny when i,m honest and the "authority" encourages me to be otherwise.....
buying my ticket for this train, the ticket vendor asked my age....a common question as those under 26 get a discount........ageist, sure......but it is nice when the vendors try to help you save instead of giving you the priciest ticket (cough cough zagreb).....anyways, when i told the truth, the lady responded "are you sure?" to which i answered "i could be 25"......discount done....

(written april 9 in pula, croatia)

today i went to premantura with the spanish girls,vanessa and rosa.....the water was a window to the seaworld below......barely there......just a film.....a portal to that other world.......

and now i,m going to italy with them too.......totally hadn,t planned on that.......but i can,t pass up good compnay.....and to think it could have been so different if i hadn,t gotten stuck in pula over easter
and to make it more destiny....minutes after deciding to join them (minutes after they invited me).....i went to pay for my accomodation to find that i could have had a ride to slovenia this morning but the day receptionist neglected to pass on the message......even tho i had asked twice whether there were any messages for me.......these things happen for a reason....but only hindsight may let me in on it

(april 11....on the train to venice from padova)
i have found myself in italy.....who would have guessed? did you?......per usual, the unexpected is teh best part of travelling......after chilling on the coast of the adriactic sea with some fine individuals, i ended up in padova with free accomodation in a collective space with friends of my new friends......they are even hooking me up with a massage (missed a party at the radio station last night because of another migraine--my back is shit--my whole left side--numb arm and pressure in my eye socket--in addition to nauseous--i,ve been popping pills and sleeping--hopefully a proper massage will help)......and now i,m off to explore venice for the day.......
these girls took amazing care of me when i was hurting.......in pain, it,s a lot less scary when you know someone is looking out for you.....unlike balaton when i was alone and my vision started to blur......but for the moment i am ok....not great, but ok.....and hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
p.s. my spanish is terrible.......and consequently, we speak a combo of spanish-english-french-andnow-italian ........i am understanding most but may be very confused when i get home (or confuse otehrs if i try to speak) as i no longer can distinguish which words belong to which language.......doh!

first impressions

(written april7th 755pm...bench on the beach....in front of hostel....pula,croatia)

embers have singed the edge of the cloud and the colour of the sky is bouncing gently off the adriatic sea.....and me......it does feel a bit like summer camp & i don't know anyone yet......i wonder if there will be ice-breakers later.....and a sing-a-long.....maybe not in the traditional camp way.....
for now, the light is fading & people are settling in for a beach night.....kinda like thailand, but colder.......

comparison

lake balaton
by myself
stormy
great expanse of water
not salty
don't know about boats
did not swim
few hotels, accomodation available
stayed in 3 bedroom apartment all on
my own

black sea
with crew
sunny
great expanse of water
salty
no boats......none....not one
swam right away
many hotel, none open.....therefore, no accomodation
NO accomodation.....slept in an ATM booth


it's amazing how i came to balaton to swim in the lake (even momentarily)....but with the wind blowing, it seemed a much better idea to come home, cook some dinner, and drink some wine (which i might add, cost less than 2$).

"massage"

(wednesday, april 4th)

today i had an experience entitled a massage.....after (again) numerous failed attempts at finding someone who could both perform a massage and document it in english, i gave up.......my back has been bad ona nd off for 4 countries......in 3 of the 4 i tried to get help......without success.......by today, my left side was getting so bad that my arm was numb and my hip felt wrong.....i decided that i didn't care about documentation, i needed my muscles sorted out......so i booked a massage...

now, it came toa grand total of 7$ (including tip), so i really shouldn't complain.....as a massage, being touch, generally feels good or leaves you feeling good, whether it happens to be good or not....

the experience started by the practitioner yelling at me to take my shirt off while sating at me.....why are you staring at me? am i in the wrong place? meanhwile she's yelling at me in hungarian.....finally, she actions for me to remove my clothing.....something i was prepared to do anyway.....so i did it......with her staring at me........and climbed onto the table......now, might i say, this was not a relaxing way to start......in fact, i became quite worried about letting this person touch me....pretty much the opposite of relaxed......and then......she forcefully pulls down my pants.....and yes, i was wearing a belt......and yes, i have hips.....and yes, it was forceful......so there i am......lying ass-en-l'air......vulnerable to the whims of this obviously disgruntled worker....

for the next half hour, she kneaded my back....it was neither good nor very bad......it was neither strong enough to ease my muscles nor gentle enough to relax me.....indeed, it was the strangest massage i have ever had.....and i was actually glad when it was over and i was able to pull up my pants and go on my merry way.......

a bath to end it

(written april 4th.....in bed......in my 3-bedroom apartment in kesthely, hungary....lake balaton....sipping homemade ginger tea........1050pm)

i just had a hot bath.......not a luke-warm shower that ends too quickly.......in which your feet never feel entirely cleansed.......no, a bath...........deep enough to snorkel in......and long enough to press the palms of my feet, legs straight and be emersed to my shoulders....hot enough to make me heady and boil me a nice shade of lobster.....these are the things i take for granted.......and now, i'm buffed and polished.....a good way to end a country......tomorrow, i'm off to craotia.......

notorious

so i just remet some guy that i encountered on a street in romania (i am now in budapest).....and he told me that the folks he was with retold my group's stories well after we left......a little odd....i feel notorious.......and hopefully, very very soon i will get around to writing those stories (for they are good)....and then i will be able to pass them on to you.........worst case scenario.......you get them orally, by a fire and over a glass........that wouldn't be so bad either

email

sweetheart,
thanks again for helping the other night.....you have no idea how awesome you are......
well, it looks like i am starting a new chapter....i've been trying to do so for a couple days...but haven't managed to leave......today i slept in WAY past my train departure time.....and so i spent the afternoon in a hammock or on the computer....catching up with keeping in touch......

........and this is how you find me....no new stories, and no REAL direction......but i need lulls every once in a while.....i like a lull...........let me know how you are....
love,
k

announcements

a lot has happened in the last week......here are some announcements:

1) Natalie is no longer Miss Kimm......she's traded her name for a family......and is probably honeymooning somewhere right now..........congratulations hon'
2) Scottish Robert is engaged.......as is Robyn......but not to each other......in fact, they have never met.....(that could be awkward).......well, happiness to you all
3) my grades came in.........i'm officially a registered nurse........woohoo!

montage - budapest 2nd round

montage - romania 1

montage - romania 2

montage - romania 3

montage - romania 4

montage - budapest 1